My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."Guess where the fuck I am now...EXCUSESThese are actual excuse notes from parents (including spelling): God bless the American education. She didn’t eat much, and she refused dessert.“Look,” she said, “I told some people I’d be there next week.” Now that was good to hear.“Okay. Same time for pick-up? Earlier? I really don’t think later would leave any time for traffic jams.”“I should have asked you before committing you.” No, she shouldn’t. She could commit him to anything. It would have been nice to hear about it earlier, as it would have been nice to have been asked for the ride this Sunday earlier, but only because he could have enjoyed the anticipation.“Well, I can’t remember what I said precisely, but my understanding was that I was available any time you wanted to come.”“And I kept you out of choir.” Yeah. He should have told somebody. He hadn’t thought of choir since she had called.“You didn’t deprive them of much. Aside from a little sexual balance, I contribute very little to the choir.”“But don’t you enjoy singing?”“Yes, but I enjoy sitting with you much more.” And now he was starting to sound like a suitor.
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